Well Slappa My Face and Call Me Pierre* - I'm Blogging.
People blog and stuff, don't they? Maybe, maybe not. In fact, it could be that blogging is super old-fashioned...or maybe it's just the word that's old fashioned. Who knows.
I don't really like the word, I can tell you that much.
Yet the fact remains that here I am in my lounge, tapping out my thoughts like it was a personal diary or something.
Only this diary is being flung out into the public square for all the townsfolk to read. It makes sense to do this...you know why? Because why should I have to deal with being me, when you can share the burden? So, yeah. I'm writing out stuff on this glowing screen, and what I'm writing is going into your eyeballs.
So I guess, that's blogging.
So here's the plan, townsfolk. Here's what I have in mind.
I'm going to share stuff that interests me, which will lead to a few predictable categories (predictable to me, anyway). Here's the rundown:
I get thoughts now and then. Sometimes they're deep, sometimes they're shallow but they're thoughts all the same. So I'll be sharing opinions and ideas I might have from time to time. Take them, leave them or push them off a cliff on a stormy night. And you can say how much you hate/ love/ barely notice my thoughts in the comments! Lovely!
I write a monthly film review column in The Fortean Times print magazine. I've been doing that for years, and I love it - especially when I'm sent so many free horror movies! Yet my column simply doesn't have the room for them all. So I thought...heck...why not share my thoughts on these films right here, on the public diary machine. (oooo, I quite like that. Okay...let's call it that instead of blogging).
3) My Books
I'm an author with books out, so it makes sense to chat about them from time to time. So I'll be sharing info on the books, right here. Maybe you want some behind the scenes stuff, or some expansions on what goes on in the world of Matt Hunter for example. Or maybe you're a crazy Annie Wilkes type who demands I write what YOU want, via sledgehammer persuasion. Well fine. If that's you, then this is your category.
4) Creepy Stuff
Ah, I do like the creepy stuff, and my creepy radar is always on. So if I spot something strange, bizarre or spooky I reckon it makes sense to share it here. Because you my friend, are strange, bizarre and spooky. But then, aren't we all? I also reckon I'll include weird and disturbing religious stuff in here. Basically anything that makes you shiver a little bit.
Ha ha! Look at that picture of me. So punchable...anyway, being an author and journalist involves writing - honest, it does! And when you consider that I also help aspiring authors get their books in shape...I could share some thoughts on writing here too. Seems logical. And wait...is that a giant cookie behind me on that shelf? Huh? What they heck IS that?
I'm an ordained church minister so...wait...hey...where are you going? Don't be alarmed. I'm not going to slap my palm on your forehead and call out for 'Jayzuz!'. You can rest easy my heretic friend. Yet, I do have thoughts and ideas on spiritual matters from time to time. If you're not into that sort of thing, feel free to ignore or giggle with disdain at any faith stuff I mention. Yet there might be some of you out there who get a kick out of that stuff...or at least find people who believe in that to be an amusing anthropological curiosity. I will try my best to satiate that curiosity, with occasional forays into the mysteries of faith.
I like to guffaw. I like the word guffaw too. Who doesn't? So it seems natural to me to include what I like to call 'guffaw-ops' on this page. So if I spot something funny, I reckon I'll share it with you good people. For example, if I'm in town and I see an old lady fall out of a bus window at high speed. I'll take a picture of her bouncing before calling the ambulance, and then post it on...wait. Lawyers on the phone. Sorry, no. Of course I won't do that. YOU would! I, on the other hand, will just post other funny stuff. Who knows, you might laugh too...or slowly back away when you realise my sense of humour is...odd.
8) My World.
Finally, there will be times when I chat about life in general...in other words: My World. To be honest, I just made that title up to cover everything else. But 'everything else' is just like that weird eBay category where all the 'other stuff' ends up. Which is, to be fair, precisely what I'm going to do with this category. But let's not call it 'Everything Else'. Let's be grand about it, and in our best Morgan Freeman impression we'll call it...'My World.'
So...yeah, basically I'm going to be blogging.
Just don't call it that.
So welcome...one and all...welcome to my PUBLIC DIARY MACHINE!
*Fun fact on the name Pierre: Before I was born, my mum seriously considered calling me Pierre, because she thought it sounded exotic. This would have been fine if we'd lived in France...but we lived in the 'Haway the Lads' North East. So thankfully she saw sense and called me the bog standard Peter instead. Bullying averted!
NOTE: The above is a test post.