FIND US ONLINE
The absolute best place to find us is online. Here you can get a look at everything we're posting, both for free and for members.
You can also follow on social media, to keep track of church life and local events in the town. Find us on Twitter and Facebook too. We love keeping in touch with you, so do follow, share and comment!
VISIT IN PERSON
The absolute best place to find us is online, did we mention that? However...if you would like to visit us in person then be warned. The town of Creepy Cove is notoriously hard to find and does not feature on conventional maps. It's not even on 'The Google'! However, you might get lucky enough (or unlucky enough?) to find yourself here one night. Note: visits to the Cove are more likely after a near-death experience. If you do wake up here, these are the directions you'll need to find our beautiful church on the peak!
Remember, this route is on foot, so a strong torch, silver tipped cane and sturdy umbrella are stongly advised .
STEP ONE: Myling Park
When you reach the town square, look for our famous Spindle Signpost. You can't miss it. This historic local feature is mostly made of bones and teeth! Stop for a moment to admire the craftmanship, then follow the jawbone arrow to Myling Park.
Cut through Myling, always keeping the mouse head see-saw on your left. Important: if you see any wandering children here (and you will), do NOT let them get behind you. If you hear them singing their mothers name, make a note of it and let us know. Do not engage with the children unless you're willing to escort them to the cemetery.
STEP TWO: The Kelly House
If you make it through the park, well done you! Now you just need to follow Brutality Road (which no longer has street lights, after what happened). About two miles in you'll pass The Kelly House on your right. If the Kelly family are on the porch, do chat with them, but please do NOT accept their invitation to enter the building. Especially if the bathroom light is on. Just say you're heading to church and be on your way.
STEP THREE: The Wither Well and Hobbes Wood
Keep heading west on Brutality until you reach the Wither Well. Don't climb down it, no matter how enticing the music is. Be sure to drop a token down. Something personally meaningful to you is ideal. An earring perhaps, or failing that, a fingernail. Once you've given your tribute, head straight into Hobbes Wood which you'll find directly behind the well. It's a long trek through here and it's easy to get lost for the rest of your life. So keep to the path. Be aware that some of the trees are not trees, so best keep hands in pockets.
STEP FOUR: Drago Shack
As you make your way through the forest, listen for the sound of the sea and follow it. This means you're getting close. Leave the woods and brace yourself for an incline. You're now at the base of the cliff. Bear in mind that there's a lot of open space up here, so there aren't many places to hide. Keep heading upwards. Keep an eye out for the Drago Shack. When you pass here, you're halfway up. Be cautious though. The wolves gather here, and are often out on their hind-leg hikes. Follow the sea.
STEP FIVE: Lonely Peak
Prep those eyeballs for a beautiful view, as you take in the ocean from a new height. You're not at the summit yet, but this is our famous Lonely Peak. There's a dirt path near the cliff's edge, so just follow it along and up. It get's horribly narrow in places, and the wind gets up. Try not to listen to the wind, if you can help it.
As you trek upwards keep a weather eye on the oceans. Walkers have been lucky enough to see tentacles break the surface, even from way up here. If the moon is out, you might even spot Cadaver Hill. It's all the way over at the far edge of the beach. And yes, that hill is exactly what it says it is. Cross the rope bridge with extreme care, and avoid lighting candles as you ascend the wicker steps. When you reach the top...voila...
STEP SIX: Creepy Cove Community Church!
You made it! You're now in the church car park. Yes, it's true. You can reach the church by car in a fraction of the walking time. However...we haven't led you on a merry dance. That's because the road only opens up to regular members of the church. It is sadly beyond our control, so do keep coming to open the way.
You'll no doubt be thirsty after your trek, so please enjoy our free drinks machine on the porch. Please note that as of 1987 we are no longer permitted to sell Viper. However, we do stock Dr. Pepper, Um Bongo, Wolf Milk and many other popular beverages. Please consider supporting our fund to build a Krispy Kreme Vending Coffin on our porch.
That's it, you're here! You've journeyed far...so try to avoid the sudden instinct that will grip you at this point. Everything in your being will tell you to turn back.
Instead come on in and shake off the rain, because the after dark service is about to begin!